"I'm often asked, in a kindly way, if I'm enjoying my retirement, and immediately that conjures up a picture of armchairs, pipes and slippers, afternoons playing golf and cruises in the Mediterranean. Isn't that what retirement involves?"
John Francis Friendship - Enfolded in Christ -
the Inner life of a Priest
"Although we might lay aside our role, can we ever retire from our vocation, from being who we are?
When do we reach the moment we can say 'It is accomplished'?"
I retired from full-time ministry towards the end of 2016, having spent fourteen happy years as a fellow disciple in the service of the people of the Arle Valley.
Prior to that, twenty-five years in the Cambridgeshire Fens, and nearly five years before that in Hackney, in the East End of London.
During my time in Hackney Jan and I met. I was about to become a Roman Catholic, and was challenged to make some choices:
Marry Jan, forget Rome, and give up smoking (I was on 60 a day)
become a Roman Catholic, train for their priesthood and give up Jan.
I married Jan!
At the beginning of my retirement I was advised to do nothing for six months, and I managed that quite easily. I attended different Churches each Sunday, and mentally gave each marks out of ten. The system worked along the lines of The Ship of Fools "Mystery Worshipper", and judgement made on the way I was welcomed at the church door; the liturgy - was it easy to follow, was it well-presented; the sermon - content and presentation, and what about after the service - did anybody show any interest in me? I promised myself that I would look for positives in the experience, and then having blown my cover, tell someone at the service what it was that I found helpful.
I applied to Bishop Tim for "Permission to Officiate" the following February, which was granted. Hot on the heels of that permission came a request from the local Funeral Director, "Are you ready yet?" - to take services that is, not to end up as a "customer"!
Jan perceived that I would find the following Holy Week and Easter difficult. For me, even before Ordination, it has been the pinnacle of the Christian year. At her suggestion I was fortunate to spend the Triduum at Douai Abbey, the Roman Catholic Monastery not far from Newbury. By the end of the time there, I felt I had "come home", and once again thought I heard the call to become a Roman Catholic.
In October of the same year, 2017 saw the retirement of Fr.Malcolm Jones, the Parish Priest of Winchester's only Anglo-Catholic Church. The Churchwarden, John, contacted me - "You've done this sort of thing before in your Curacy- can you help us cover some Sunday / Thursday Masses, as one of a team including Fr Robin Nash and Fr Stephen Holmes?" After reminding John that I was a bit "rusty", I soon got into the way of things with his help.....and I felt that I had "come home". Fr Malcolm had left us a fine (Roman Catholic) Liturgy, and I found myself amongst fellow Christians who were not shy of asking Our Lady for her prayers. Benediction / Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament on occasion drew us closer into Our Lord's presence as we contemplated Him in Sacramental intimacy.
Holy Trinity - a Church in the Anglo-Catholic tradition where worship, Catholic spirituality and Catholic practice happen naturally. I found myself at home.
It was a joy to share teaching material with the faithful, Lent Courses (often aligned to those of the Diocese of Winchester), Prayer Novenas, aids to help people pray the Rosary and to pray in various seasons of the year, and one of my greatest joys, - to produce service booklets for special occasions.
During the Pandemic, I was able to build this particular blog to become a daily, spiritual life-line to keep people in touch with God and with Holy Trinity Church.
After the Pandemic Jan was Licensed by Bishop Norman as the Accredited Lay Minister, the only minister licensed to the parish. People were returning to Church, and I had the privilege of being the main Celebrant in the last two years of the Vacancy, which had lasted five-and-a-half years. During those years, when people asked me "Are you enjoying your retirement?" I could honestly answer "Yes". I loved the fact that I was busy exercising a ministry in a Church and parish which was of my tradition, amongst people who were supportive and friendly.
Just days before Fr.Jamie arrived , I underwent my first knee replacement operation. I was forced to stop. Eight weeks ago, I had my second knee replacement operation.
I have served God and His Church for fifty years. Much of the time it's been a good experience. Some of the time it's been difficult. Christians aren't always nice to each other, and I thank God that I no longer have to be involved in "Church politics"!
In this second period of convalescence and repair, I feel that God wants me to use the time to step back, to slow down my busy-ness so that I might give time and space to reflect upon "Where next? What next? and to discern "Where is 'home'?"
"How's retirement?" Instead of answering with the usual "WHAT retirement!", I want to be able to reply along the lines of "I'm beginning to discover who I am, and guess what, I'm finding the time to do things like painting, reading, writing, travel, that I dreamt of fifty years ago"
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